Amateur Blogger Tips

No, I don't mean that I have tips for the amateur blogger. Au contraire. I mean that, as an amateur blogger, I'm going to dole out a few tips of my own, for whatever they're worth. These tips come from my heart after having spent some time surfing a few random blogs on the Blogger network. They may seem like common sense to those of you who - well - have common sense. Clearly, though, there are a lot of people out there who simply don't.

1) While I understand that some bloggers are artists, I'm not sure half of a badly formed sentence would constitute 'art'. I came across a blog that had one entry to the effect of "I am happy to have my wet." That was it. There was no "click here to read the entire post" button. Instead, there was one comment. The comment was made by the original poster. This comment said, "Dragon." Uh, huh. Right. Gotcha.

2) Interestingly enough, the Blogger TOS does not disallow pornography. However, you'd think it would be common sense to, at the very least, have a massive disclaimer at the top of your screen to the effect of "THIS SITE CONTAINS PORNOGRAPHY. IF YOU'RE NOT AT LEAST EIGHTEEN YEARS OF AGE, PLEASE DO NOT SCROLL DOWN PAST THIS DISCLAIMER!" That way, when I happen to come across your site while surfing, I don't have to explain the concept of S&M to my six year old who's hanging over my shoulder at the time.

3) Ads, ads, ads. This blog is all about ads. How do I know it's about ads? Because the ad poster has used the word 'ad' in their ad about fifty million times. Ad. Not only that - ad - they've interspersed the word 'ad' into their ad amongst a bunch of other words that don't make any sense when strung together. Replace the word 'ad' in the preceding sentences with whatever they're trying to sell, and you'll get the picture. Maybe, if you read these blogs backwards, they'll convey some hidden message from Satan, kind of like playing and Alice Cooper album in reverse. (If you don't know who Alice Cooper is, or what an album is, then I'm going to have to ask you to leave because you're making me feel old.)

4) Now, I know not everyone who blogs is a professional writer. Heaven knows my grammar, spelling and punctuation leave a lot to be desired, but at least I make an effort. Come on, people! They are called 'periods' and they go at the ends of your sentences. Some of these posts actually make my eyes bleed just by trying to follow them.

Now, then. If you want some real tips from some real experts, I would suggest you check out a few of the folks in my list of links and my blogrolling sections to the right. Elizabeth has plenty of tips at her blog, 'Blogging - What's In It For Me?' And Michele has a whole bunch of neat tools at 'Cool Blog Tools' to make blogging fun and easy.

Happy blogging! :D

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