Thursday, May 04, 2006

Ooh! Me! Pick me!

I read on Yahoo! news today that Bill Gates doesn't like being the world's richest person.

Well, boo frickin' hoo! Here's my daily act of charity. Mr. Gates, if all that money is really making you miserable, I'll gladly ease some of your suffering by taking a few billion dollars off your hands. A link to my e-mail address can be found in the left-hand menu, at the bottom of the page. I look forward to hearing from you in the near future.

Now that's one e-mail I'd love to receive. Wouldn't you? It'd be a darn sight better than what I've been getting lately, I'll tell ya. Now, I know that you're taking your chances and should expect a certain amount of spam when you create websites and put yourself out there on the WWW. But what I'm realy itching to know is, where on the internet does it indicate that I'm a seventy year old horn dog looking to buy bucketsfull of Viagra so I can satisfy my inflate-a-date? And where, or where, did I ever sign up for the e-mail in foreign languages that apparently offer me nothing other than gratuitous pornography?

Seriously, Bill, I could really use some of that cash you're so tired of being saddled with. Maybe then I could afford to hire a team of investigators to track these people down and return the favour by subjecting them to floods of unwanted parenting advice and cute children's stories.

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1 comment:

Ashley said...

Vicky you are too funny. I often wonder where some of these spam emails come from too. I got some real werid ones every now and a again. My favorite one was for male enlargement. That's new to me consdiering I'm not a male. I mean hello my email has the word MRS in it. I would think people would realize this is not a man. hehehe.