BikerMomma's Slacking Off

And BikerMomma apologizes for it. It's been a little hectic around here lately, so I haven't been able to post as much as I'd like – or, at all, for that matter. Which is unfortunate, since there has been so much blog fodder going on, what with all the visitors and house guests and the kids being kids. Too bad I have a memory like a sieve, because I can't remember any of it now, although I distinctly remember thinking at the time, "Wow! This is great blog fodder!"

There have been visitors galore, and the phone hasn't stopped ringing off the hook. Like hubby said, "Gee! All I have to do to get people to come visit me is develop a potentially fatal condition!”

While hubby’s been having a great time receiving guests and gifts and phone calls from people he hasn’t spoken to in years, I’ve been running around like a chicken without a head. For one thing, I sometimes feel like the phone has been permanently melted to the side of my head. Another example - I made the mistake of washing my floors before my parents arrived, only to be told that I’m supposed to wait until after the party to clean up. Why do the same job twice? I like that logic. However, by the looks of it, my floors won’t be washed within the next six months, as the steady stream of well-wishers is showing no signs of slowing. Who knew hubby was this popular?

Then there’s the food. All these people need to be fed and watered, after all. It’s a good thing Mom and Dad showed up when they did. Mom always has crates full of homemade cookies in tow whenever she comes for a visit, so at least I can offer coffee and treats to my unannounced visitors. So far, only one of them had the – um – foresight to show up an hour before suppertime.

What is it with men and illnesses? They have no idea how to convalesce properly, do they? I know hubby’s going stir crazy. He’s not used to weeks of forced inactivity. We’re at the point now where I’m seriously considering the use of tether straps to keep him from overexerting himself. When my six year old doesn’t want to do his homework, I threaten to tell his teacher, which usually gets him moving. I’ve now resorted to the same strategy with hubby. “If you don’t sit still and relax, I’m going to call Dr. G and tell him what you’re doing!”

It’s a good thing I’m screening all his phone calls, too. Hubby doesn’t have the will power to resist the kind of temptation his so-called ‘friends’ are throwing at him. Just yesterday, exactly two weeks after his major abdominal surgery, hubby got a call from one ‘friend’ to ask if he’d be up to going dirt bike riding over the weekend. Sure! While we’re at it, why don’t I just rip your incision open with my bare hands? I’m sure that would be a lot of fun, too (excuse me while I wipe up the sarcasm that’s dripping all over my dirty floors).

I’ve discovered, though, that laughter truly is the best medicine. It’s working wonders for me, for one thing, and it does a great job of keeping hubby laid up in just the right amount of pain to remind him that he’s not completely whole just yet. Luckily, our family's antics are extremely laughable, so I have plenty of material to pull out of my hat whenever hubby's proving especially ambitious. We also have a friend who sends a daily compilation of jokes he receives from various sources. There's usually at least one per day that has me in tears, like the anecdote about the gentleman who thought his lizard was giving birth, only to be reminded that they lay eggs (I'll have to post that one for you some time - it's a classic).

Along with the guests and the phone calls and caring for the husband who won't sit still and two bored children and the bored dog and the offers for mystery shopping jobs that I had to turn down, I've also received - get this - one major engraving order from an existing client and one new offer for a freelance copywriting job, both worth several hundreds of dollars each. When it rains, it pours. In my world, it's apparently monsoon season. But, hey! Where would I get my blog fodder from if life were a picnic in the park? ;)

Technorati Tags: Visitors ; House Guests ; Illness ; Convalescence ; Jobs ; WAHM ; Work At Home