Why get a parrot? I mean, they live for - what? - fifty-sixty some-odd years, don't they? If you really want to have a creature to follow you around all day repeating every word, every turn of phrase you utter, I'd suggest getting a toddler.
For example, I was sitting here reorganizing a years' worth of paperwork the other day. Trouble had disappeared from my side yet again, having grown bored with the movie he had asked to watch. Knowing what kind of carnage Trouble is capable of over a short period of time, I shouted from the bedroom/office, "Hey, Trouble! Where are you?"
The answer came from the living room, "I downstairs!"
Me: "Well, come back here and watch the movie with me!"
Trouble: "What?"
Me, slightly louder: "I said, come back here and watch the movie with me!"
Trouble: "I can't hear you! Come down here to talk to me! Don't yell across the house!"
I guess I can file that nugget of wisdom under "Do as I say, not as I do." Nothing better for a mom's ego than having a two-and-a-half year old show you with crystal clarity exactly how ridiculous you sound.
Technorati Tags: Parenting ; Children ; Toddlers ; Motherhood
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Friday, June 16, 2006
WAHM Bloggers' QOTW
This week's question from the gals at WAHM Bloggers is: What was your first job and what life lessons did it teach you?
Wow. My first job. What a blast that was! Seriouisly, what's more fun for a seventeen-year-old who refuses to grow up than a job at Toys 'R' Us?
I started out as a stock clerk. You know, unloading those eighteen foot trailers packed full of pallets of play sand, and doing it in a denim mini-skirt and heels. Now that's talent!
They quickly moved me up to cashier, mainly because it was nearing the Christmas rush and they needed bodies on the registers. Remember, ladies and gents, this was back when we still had to take imprints of people's credit cards and actually remember which copy belonged where. This was pre-debit cards and prior to electronic displays, when people paid mainly with - can you believe it? - cash, so we actually had to know how to count back their change properly.
Since I was one of the few girls who lasted past the Christmas (and boxing day) rush without having a nervous breakdown, I was promoted to head cashier shortly thereafter. I was one of the first to use the new-fangled computer-based cash register reconciliation system - oooh! I was there when they introduced the new debit card systems, and as head cashier, it was part of my duties to win the 'old timers' over to the new way of accepting payment. And it was during my capacity as head cashier that I caught my first major thief. Oooh, that's a juicy story, full of intrigue and high-level deception. I would tell you all about it, but I was sworn to secrecy (author casts furtive glances around her as she types).
What life's lessons did that job teach me? Well, for one, the strength & vigour of youth should not be underestimated. We pulled all nighters just to get the latest load of Cabbage Patch Kids on the shelves before the next major holiday or to get inventory counted in the allotted timeframe, and stayed the very next day for our regular shifts. We dined on pizza five days a week and still managed to maintain our target body images. We had the memory capacity to know exactly what someone wanted when they came in asking for, "...those little red things - you know - they're small - and red. Know what I mean?" We also had the patience to answer these same customers with a smile, and refrain from taking out our frustrations on those inflatable clown punching bags - at least, until we made it back to the staff lounge.
In all honesty, I learned that attitude really is everything, a smile and good service can change someone's day (or life). I also learned that, if I don't enjoy what I'm doing, noone else will. So, when you're contemplating a career path, make sure it's one you're going to be happy in, something you truly enjoy doing. Because your clients will know, in the end, whether you're satisfied with your job ... or miserable in it. ;)
Technorati Tags: QOTW ; WAHM ; First Job ; Toys R Us ; Life's Lesson
Wow. My first job. What a blast that was! Seriouisly, what's more fun for a seventeen-year-old who refuses to grow up than a job at Toys 'R' Us?
I started out as a stock clerk. You know, unloading those eighteen foot trailers packed full of pallets of play sand, and doing it in a denim mini-skirt and heels. Now that's talent!
They quickly moved me up to cashier, mainly because it was nearing the Christmas rush and they needed bodies on the registers. Remember, ladies and gents, this was back when we still had to take imprints of people's credit cards and actually remember which copy belonged where. This was pre-debit cards and prior to electronic displays, when people paid mainly with - can you believe it? - cash, so we actually had to know how to count back their change properly.
Since I was one of the few girls who lasted past the Christmas (and boxing day) rush without having a nervous breakdown, I was promoted to head cashier shortly thereafter. I was one of the first to use the new-fangled computer-based cash register reconciliation system - oooh! I was there when they introduced the new debit card systems, and as head cashier, it was part of my duties to win the 'old timers' over to the new way of accepting payment. And it was during my capacity as head cashier that I caught my first major thief. Oooh, that's a juicy story, full of intrigue and high-level deception. I would tell you all about it, but I was sworn to secrecy (author casts furtive glances around her as she types).
What life's lessons did that job teach me? Well, for one, the strength & vigour of youth should not be underestimated. We pulled all nighters just to get the latest load of Cabbage Patch Kids on the shelves before the next major holiday or to get inventory counted in the allotted timeframe, and stayed the very next day for our regular shifts. We dined on pizza five days a week and still managed to maintain our target body images. We had the memory capacity to know exactly what someone wanted when they came in asking for, "...those little red things - you know - they're small - and red. Know what I mean?" We also had the patience to answer these same customers with a smile, and refrain from taking out our frustrations on those inflatable clown punching bags - at least, until we made it back to the staff lounge.
In all honesty, I learned that attitude really is everything, a smile and good service can change someone's day (or life). I also learned that, if I don't enjoy what I'm doing, noone else will. So, when you're contemplating a career path, make sure it's one you're going to be happy in, something you truly enjoy doing. Because your clients will know, in the end, whether you're satisfied with your job ... or miserable in it. ;)
Technorati Tags: QOTW ; WAHM ; First Job ; Toys R Us ; Life's Lesson
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
BikerMomma's Slacking Off
And BikerMomma apologizes for it. It's been a little hectic around here lately, so I haven't been able to post as much as I'd like – or, at all, for that matter. Which is unfortunate, since there has been so much blog fodder going on, what with all the visitors and house guests and the kids being kids. Too bad I have a memory like a sieve, because I can't remember any of it now, although I distinctly remember thinking at the time, "Wow! This is great blog fodder!"
There have been visitors galore, and the phone hasn't stopped ringing off the hook. Like hubby said, "Gee! All I have to do to get people to come visit me is develop a potentially fatal condition!”
While hubby’s been having a great time receiving guests and gifts and phone calls from people he hasn’t spoken to in years, I’ve been running around like a chicken without a head. For one thing, I sometimes feel like the phone has been permanently melted to the side of my head. Another example - I made the mistake of washing my floors before my parents arrived, only to be told that I’m supposed to wait until after the party to clean up. Why do the same job twice? I like that logic. However, by the looks of it, my floors won’t be washed within the next six months, as the steady stream of well-wishers is showing no signs of slowing. Who knew hubby was this popular?
Then there’s the food. All these people need to be fed and watered, after all. It’s a good thing Mom and Dad showed up when they did. Mom always has crates full of homemade cookies in tow whenever she comes for a visit, so at least I can offer coffee and treats to my unannounced visitors. So far, only one of them had the – um – foresight to show up an hour before suppertime.
What is it with men and illnesses? They have no idea how to convalesce properly, do they? I know hubby’s going stir crazy. He’s not used to weeks of forced inactivity. We’re at the point now where I’m seriously considering the use of tether straps to keep him from overexerting himself. When my six year old doesn’t want to do his homework, I threaten to tell his teacher, which usually gets him moving. I’ve now resorted to the same strategy with hubby. “If you don’t sit still and relax, I’m going to call Dr. G and tell him what you’re doing!”
It’s a good thing I’m screening all his phone calls, too. Hubby doesn’t have the will power to resist the kind of temptation his so-called ‘friends’ are throwing at him. Just yesterday, exactly two weeks after his major abdominal surgery, hubby got a call from one ‘friend’ to ask if he’d be up to going dirt bike riding over the weekend. Sure! While we’re at it, why don’t I just rip your incision open with my bare hands? I’m sure that would be a lot of fun, too (excuse me while I wipe up the sarcasm that’s dripping all over my dirty floors).
I’ve discovered, though, that laughter truly is the best medicine. It’s working wonders for me, for one thing, and it does a great job of keeping hubby laid up in just the right amount of pain to remind him that he’s not completely whole just yet. Luckily, our family's antics are extremely laughable, so I have plenty of material to pull out of my hat whenever hubby's proving especially ambitious. We also have a friend who sends a daily compilation of jokes he receives from various sources. There's usually at least one per day that has me in tears, like the anecdote about the gentleman who thought his lizard was giving birth, only to be reminded that they lay eggs (I'll have to post that one for you some time - it's a classic).
Along with the guests and the phone calls and caring for the husband who won't sit still and two bored children and the bored dog and the offers for mystery shopping jobs that I had to turn down, I've also received - get this - one major engraving order from an existing client and one new offer for a freelance copywriting job, both worth several hundreds of dollars each. When it rains, it pours. In my world, it's apparently monsoon season. But, hey! Where would I get my blog fodder from if life were a picnic in the park? ;)
Technorati Tags: Visitors ; House Guests ; Illness ; Convalescence ; Jobs ; WAHM ; Work At Home
There have been visitors galore, and the phone hasn't stopped ringing off the hook. Like hubby said, "Gee! All I have to do to get people to come visit me is develop a potentially fatal condition!”
While hubby’s been having a great time receiving guests and gifts and phone calls from people he hasn’t spoken to in years, I’ve been running around like a chicken without a head. For one thing, I sometimes feel like the phone has been permanently melted to the side of my head. Another example - I made the mistake of washing my floors before my parents arrived, only to be told that I’m supposed to wait until after the party to clean up. Why do the same job twice? I like that logic. However, by the looks of it, my floors won’t be washed within the next six months, as the steady stream of well-wishers is showing no signs of slowing. Who knew hubby was this popular?
Then there’s the food. All these people need to be fed and watered, after all. It’s a good thing Mom and Dad showed up when they did. Mom always has crates full of homemade cookies in tow whenever she comes for a visit, so at least I can offer coffee and treats to my unannounced visitors. So far, only one of them had the – um – foresight to show up an hour before suppertime.
What is it with men and illnesses? They have no idea how to convalesce properly, do they? I know hubby’s going stir crazy. He’s not used to weeks of forced inactivity. We’re at the point now where I’m seriously considering the use of tether straps to keep him from overexerting himself. When my six year old doesn’t want to do his homework, I threaten to tell his teacher, which usually gets him moving. I’ve now resorted to the same strategy with hubby. “If you don’t sit still and relax, I’m going to call Dr. G and tell him what you’re doing!”
It’s a good thing I’m screening all his phone calls, too. Hubby doesn’t have the will power to resist the kind of temptation his so-called ‘friends’ are throwing at him. Just yesterday, exactly two weeks after his major abdominal surgery, hubby got a call from one ‘friend’ to ask if he’d be up to going dirt bike riding over the weekend. Sure! While we’re at it, why don’t I just rip your incision open with my bare hands? I’m sure that would be a lot of fun, too (excuse me while I wipe up the sarcasm that’s dripping all over my dirty floors).
I’ve discovered, though, that laughter truly is the best medicine. It’s working wonders for me, for one thing, and it does a great job of keeping hubby laid up in just the right amount of pain to remind him that he’s not completely whole just yet. Luckily, our family's antics are extremely laughable, so I have plenty of material to pull out of my hat whenever hubby's proving especially ambitious. We also have a friend who sends a daily compilation of jokes he receives from various sources. There's usually at least one per day that has me in tears, like the anecdote about the gentleman who thought his lizard was giving birth, only to be reminded that they lay eggs (I'll have to post that one for you some time - it's a classic).
Along with the guests and the phone calls and caring for the husband who won't sit still and two bored children and the bored dog and the offers for mystery shopping jobs that I had to turn down, I've also received - get this - one major engraving order from an existing client and one new offer for a freelance copywriting job, both worth several hundreds of dollars each. When it rains, it pours. In my world, it's apparently monsoon season. But, hey! Where would I get my blog fodder from if life were a picnic in the park? ;)
Technorati Tags: Visitors ; House Guests ; Illness ; Convalescence ; Jobs ; WAHM ; Work At Home
Friday, June 02, 2006
The Latest Groaner...
...courtesy of my sister:
A Tale of Two Robins
Two robins were sitting in a tree.
"I'm really hungry," said the first one. "Let's fly down and find some lunch."
They flew down to the ground and found a nice plot of newly plowed ground that was full of worms. They ate and ate and ate 'till they could eat no more.
"I'm so full, I don't think I can fly back up into the tree," said the first one.
"Let's just lay back here and bask in the warm sun," said the second.
"O K," said the first.
So they plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner had they fallen asleep, when a big fat tomcat up and gobbled them up.
As the cat sat washing his face after his meal, he thought...
(scroll down)
(ready??)
(you're gonna like this one)
"I JUST LOVE BASKIN ROBINS."
Technorati Tags: Jokes ; Humour ; Robins ; Cats ; Baskin Robins
A Tale of Two Robins
Two robins were sitting in a tree.
"I'm really hungry," said the first one. "Let's fly down and find some lunch."
They flew down to the ground and found a nice plot of newly plowed ground that was full of worms. They ate and ate and ate 'till they could eat no more.
"I'm so full, I don't think I can fly back up into the tree," said the first one.
"Let's just lay back here and bask in the warm sun," said the second.
"O K," said the first.
So they plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner had they fallen asleep, when a big fat tomcat up and gobbled them up.
As the cat sat washing his face after his meal, he thought...
(scroll down)
(ready??)
(you're gonna like this one)
"I JUST LOVE BASKIN ROBINS."
Technorati Tags: Jokes ; Humour ; Robins ; Cats ; Baskin Robins
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