Progress Update

Hey blog fans!

I realized this morning that it's been some time since I measured my weight-loss (or, more accurately, inch-loss) progress. Two months, actually. So I dusted off the ol' measuring tape and got to it.

Here are my results since beginning this wellness journey back in November:
Chest (or, "the girls", as some folks would call them): 1 inch lost
Rib cage: 2 inches lost
Waist: 4 1/2 inches lost
Tummy (what I affectionately refer to as my "overhang"): 4 inches lost
Hips: 3 inches lost
Thighs (each thigh): 2 inches lost

For a grand total of ... drum roll, please ... 16 1/2 inches lost since November! Yay, me! :)

This started, as you may recall, by walking on the treadmill. I believe I started slowly, at maybe 15 or 20 minutes, and worked my way up to 30 minute walks, 5 days per week. In June, I enrolled at my son's Taekwondo school, and the treadmill, I'm ashamed to say, has sat idle ever since. This is because a) beginning Taekwondo took a lot out of me physically, so I decided to take it easy on the days between training sessions, and b) the kiddies were home for the summer holidays, which makes "me time" hard to come by (unless I wanted to wake up at 5:00AM ... ummm ... no).

Well, the rugrats are back in school now (Trouble only goes on alternate days, being in Kindergarten this year). So my mornings, once the bus turns that corner and before I have to work at my paying job, are once again my own. I intend to reacquiaint myself with the treadmill once the kids and I are in some semblance of a routine - i.e. putting Trouble on the bus is no longer an aerobic routine on its own. Boy, who'd a thought one 40lb kid could put up such a struggle? I mean, I know that some kids don't handle the transition from home to school very well, but I've had to wrestle Trouble into the school yard, onto the bus, into his clothes in the morning... The way this kid bolts when that bus comes to pick him up, I think we'll be signing him up for track really soon.

Anyhow, so the treadmill is going to be revisited at some point in the next few weeks. As for my diet, I'm still trying to drink more water than soft drinks, eat more fruit and veggies on a daily basis (lemon pie counts as a fruit, right?), and limit my chip intake to the single-serving bags. Yeah, I've broken that rule a couple of times. Kind of hard to have movie night with one tiny bag of chips to call your own while the rest of the family is chowing down on M&Ms and Fritos by the bucket.

Taekwondo is going very well. My short-term goal was to make it through class without uttering the words "Please, God, make it stop!". I'm pretty much there most nights. Except for when the instructors come back from some sort of seminar or are preparing for a tournament. Then they seem to become even more excited about training than they usually are, and they get creative with the styles of push-ups and crunches and kicking combos they make you perform by the hundreds. It's all good, though. No pain, no gain, right? Although, sometimes I prefer the saying, "No pain ... woo hoo!"

My biggest hurdle right now (other than not being able to perform the more acrobatic kicks because I'm being weighed down by my age and my back-side)is that I seem to have a mental block when it comes to sparring. We're wearing full padding, so I techincally shouldn't have an issue kicking the bejesus out of my opponent, but I do. I can't kick a person with the same force as I kick a target or a heavy bag. Kind of makes for a one-sided fight, with me standing there getting my butt handed to me on a platter. But, like with any martial art, it's more about the journey than anything else, and this is just part of my personal journey. Here's hoping I turn a corner soon, though. My kids are beginning to think my skin tone is naturally purple and green.

Time Flies

Holy Moley! Has it really been 2 months since the last time I posted?! Geez, time sure does fly when you're ... ummm ... what's the phrase I'm looking for here? Having fun? Nope, that's not it. Broke? Exhausted? That's getting a little warmer.

Anyhoo, here I am, three months into the whole Taekwondo journey. Yes, I passed my first belt test. I actually double-tested, which means I skipped over the yellow-stripe and went straight to a yellow belt. I've since tested for my green stripe, and I find out tonight whether or not I passed. I honestly have no idea whether or not I did, because the whole testing experience is a blur to me. I was so nervous through the whole thing that I've managed to block out the memory completely. Not a very effective training technique, to go through the whole experience in a terrified trance. At this rate, I'll never make Ninja Queen.

You can't blame me, though. I had a large audience and fan club in attendance the night of testing. My brother and his family had come to town for a visit. Since he and his children are Karatekas, they thought it would be interesting to witness a TKD testing event. My sister and husband also came. My husband, the man who is supposed to love me unconditionally, brought our video camera. It was supposedly to take video of our son, who was also undergoing testing that night. He completely ignored the daggers shooting out of my eyes and took video of my testing, as well.

So how can I have video of the event and still not be able to remember how I did, you ask?

Because about three seconds into the video, my husband has to wrestle the camera out of my hands as I am overcome by the urge to hurl said video camera through the nearest fifteen story window.

Why, oh why, do martial artists wear WHITE uniforms?? I look like freaking Cartman from South Park wearing his mom's bath robe! I look like the Queen of Marsmallow Land! I look like the Creature Bride of the Michelin Man! It's downright GROSS!! Especially since the manufacturers of these uniforms seem to think that anyone with hips the breadth of mine must also be seven feet tall. The result, even with some creative hemming, is that I have the pants pulled up to my pits a la Erkel while my feet are hidden beneath four folds of the material. The top would hang down to my knees if it wasn't being held up by my belt, which then creates enough of a fold around my upper body to clothe a small African village. And all this is done in WHITE ... the one colour/shade that makes Naomi Campbell look pudgy.

But, white is the colour of the school uniform, so I will have to grin and bear it. At least until I lose enough weight to buy a new uniform that isn't cut for a sumo wrestler.